You are no alien, Katy. You are zebra and oil and moon and tide, creator and maker and truth-teller. And you are the small flame at the bottom of the darkness. Never forget these things. You will come through. x
I would say that you coming to Whitstable and stumbling upon the Blessing of the Animals is a Sign - your people are right there, in papier maché heads, getting pebbles in their shoes 🤍🤍🤍
"I know it will be worth it, but when panic stands on the shoulders of panic and I feel myself sinking, it’s hard to keep going." You've described what you're feeling so eloquently, Katy. Amazing writing.
And that comment you made, asking others to continue being themselves, "You are beautiful and valuable to me, even on your darkest day." Well, that's how I feel about you, too. I love how you express yourself. Please keep writing and keep sharing – I hope there might be some catharsis in it and that the overwhelm of what you're currently going through does ease off.
The only words I can find to say to you, having read this, are your own: I love you and I need you to keep being you. You give me hope that things can be better. You remind me of reasons to stay here. You are beautiful and valuable to me, even on your darkest day.
This is so beautifully written Katy. You have encapsulated something, which I feel is very human. I find this post incredibly relatable and very moving.
I have extreme bouts of ill mental health and have throughout my life. I’m starting to think that maybe mine is also linked to neurodiversity too.
Your words have meant a lot to me today and I very much enjoy reading your posts. I hope that the chatter and overwhelm subsides and the light pours in. X
It must have been very challenging to put all that out there and write so eloquently about it. I’m glad you did, though I’m sorry that you are suffering so much. I have been there. It feels never-ending. I’ve also read KM’s book and it helped me to self-identify as neurodiverse in a very healing and empowering way. It does sound possible that you have similar issues (incidentally I’ve heard several stories of autistic shutdowns in the middle of busy shopping trips, so that sounds like a red flag to me). In my latest bout of despair, I found David Whyte’s collection Essentials very helpful, particularly his beautiful prose poem on the experience of despair (much more uplifting than it sounds, but also very honest). Stay in touch, there are many of us here to hold you. x
Hugs to you for your grit and determination and for the exhausting relentlessness of it all. You’re an effing Good Egg, as my friend is wont to say, in all your selves. x
at the risk of sounding cliche, just want to offer a simple thank you for this. for you being you—the vulnerability, honesty, and for staying around even when it is so very hard. and having a “stash of joy moments”…wisest words I read today.
I read your beautiful and terrifying words, and it gave me hope: both for someone very close to me who is struggling to find his zebra-way, and for my own dips into darkness. I know there is no way to wave a wand and magically put your mind at ease. But your words have eased mine. You are making your way forward with honesty and courage. You have the compassion to share your vulnerability with us. Know that we are here, and carrying you in our hearts.
This is eiree. You just wrote what is inside my head. You peeled open the blankness behind my eyes like unwinding a bloody bandage and the angst was allowed to flow, wet and dark.
Your beautiful words. Our beautiful minds. I've tattooed my zebra-ness onto me as a visible reminder. Doesn't stop the black veil from coming down over my eyes sometimes but, it is my guiding light home to myself again. Keep making and resting and eating x
Thank you for continuing to both do and share your beautiful work. Reading it helps me to be more compassionate with a loved one who suffers in a similar way, but can only shout.
There have been times in my life when I’m just too tired for the relentless world, and the only thing that makes sense is poetry. Maybe I’m a poet at heart, but just too lazy to do the work? Let’s raise a toast to the poets and you and me and anyone who reads this, for doing our work. ♥️
You are no alien, Katy. You are zebra and oil and moon and tide, creator and maker and truth-teller. And you are the small flame at the bottom of the darkness. Never forget these things. You will come through. x
I would say that you coming to Whitstable and stumbling upon the Blessing of the Animals is a Sign - your people are right there, in papier maché heads, getting pebbles in their shoes 🤍🤍🤍
"I know it will be worth it, but when panic stands on the shoulders of panic and I feel myself sinking, it’s hard to keep going." You've described what you're feeling so eloquently, Katy. Amazing writing.
And that comment you made, asking others to continue being themselves, "You are beautiful and valuable to me, even on your darkest day." Well, that's how I feel about you, too. I love how you express yourself. Please keep writing and keep sharing – I hope there might be some catharsis in it and that the overwhelm of what you're currently going through does ease off.
Hurrah for zebras!
The only words I can find to say to you, having read this, are your own: I love you and I need you to keep being you. You give me hope that things can be better. You remind me of reasons to stay here. You are beautiful and valuable to me, even on your darkest day.
This is so beautifully written Katy. You have encapsulated something, which I feel is very human. I find this post incredibly relatable and very moving.
I have extreme bouts of ill mental health and have throughout my life. I’m starting to think that maybe mine is also linked to neurodiversity too.
Your words have meant a lot to me today and I very much enjoy reading your posts. I hope that the chatter and overwhelm subsides and the light pours in. X
It must have been very challenging to put all that out there and write so eloquently about it. I’m glad you did, though I’m sorry that you are suffering so much. I have been there. It feels never-ending. I’ve also read KM’s book and it helped me to self-identify as neurodiverse in a very healing and empowering way. It does sound possible that you have similar issues (incidentally I’ve heard several stories of autistic shutdowns in the middle of busy shopping trips, so that sounds like a red flag to me). In my latest bout of despair, I found David Whyte’s collection Essentials very helpful, particularly his beautiful prose poem on the experience of despair (much more uplifting than it sounds, but also very honest). Stay in touch, there are many of us here to hold you. x
Hugs to you for your grit and determination and for the exhausting relentlessness of it all. You’re an effing Good Egg, as my friend is wont to say, in all your selves. x
at the risk of sounding cliche, just want to offer a simple thank you for this. for you being you—the vulnerability, honesty, and for staying around even when it is so very hard. and having a “stash of joy moments”…wisest words I read today.
sending a hug from across the pond. 🧡
I read your beautiful and terrifying words, and it gave me hope: both for someone very close to me who is struggling to find his zebra-way, and for my own dips into darkness. I know there is no way to wave a wand and magically put your mind at ease. But your words have eased mine. You are making your way forward with honesty and courage. You have the compassion to share your vulnerability with us. Know that we are here, and carrying you in our hearts.
This is eiree. You just wrote what is inside my head. You peeled open the blankness behind my eyes like unwinding a bloody bandage and the angst was allowed to flow, wet and dark.
Your beautiful words. Our beautiful minds. I've tattooed my zebra-ness onto me as a visible reminder. Doesn't stop the black veil from coming down over my eyes sometimes but, it is my guiding light home to myself again. Keep making and resting and eating x
Thank you for continuing to both do and share your beautiful work. Reading it helps me to be more compassionate with a loved one who suffers in a similar way, but can only shout.
There have been times in my life when I’m just too tired for the relentless world, and the only thing that makes sense is poetry. Maybe I’m a poet at heart, but just too lazy to do the work? Let’s raise a toast to the poets and you and me and anyone who reads this, for doing our work. ♥️
I’ll keep you posted on the movie release!