It’s a two post day, mainly because I didn’t want to put therapy stuff in a post about my nice Christmas and also because I have absolutely no idea when I’m going to get around to having more than five minutes to myself in the coming days.
I love what you said about more than one thing being true simultaneously -- enjoying Christmas and feeling crazy. And this: " I am nothing if not royally fucked up." I think of the term "functional alcoholic". I feel like a functional fucked-uppy most days, endlessly processing in my head, amidst dealing with "real life".
As always, I appreciate your candidness, and respect and admire your perseverance.
"What I am working on with my other therapist is deeper than that. The two things actually complement each other. I decided that after having waited so long for the NHS therapy I would continue with it, and continue with my paid sessions, because six weeks in therapy is not very long" My initial thoughts on reading this was with my former counsellor hat on - therapy with two different therapists at same time not a good idea...however, given what you also said about the scarcity and duration of nhs therapy (woefully pathetic) I think your reasoning makes sense. Just take real good care of yourself, cos it can be a lot to process, as you are aware of already.
Hope you can take this in the genuine spirit it is given and have peaceful Christmas.
You’re doing very well with your therapy. It took me 4 years to accept I was feeling angry about ‘stuff’. And I still struggle. It’s so easy to fall into my default of ‘you’ve hurt my feelings and I can’t tell you so instead I’ll bottle it all up inside’. And I see my therapist twice a week. And 2 sessions a week has really helped me. Sounds like it’s helping you too.
You're doing it and that's huge Katy. I want to say I'm very proud of you, which sounds immensely patronising. Like you've just been a tree in the nativity play. I know it's a whole lot more than that. I'm not huggy, but I'm sending you a big wodge of encouragement. x
Oh Katy..."all (you) can do"??? As if you're not doing everything possible to heal/move forward/(insert term here). You're so brave, and so willing. Two therapists??? Holy shit, girl. I relate to so much of what you're saying, I started crying when I got to the part about anger masking fear. Hang in there. Never met you, love you just the same.
Unqualified other than by a little experience of chronic anxiety and depression, it seems that you are handling your therapy in a good way. I don't mean to patronise. This stuff is always hard, over and over again, but sometimes there is progress. I wish you all the best, and I'm glad your NHS therapist is a good one.
I love what you said about more than one thing being true simultaneously -- enjoying Christmas and feeling crazy. And this: " I am nothing if not royally fucked up." I think of the term "functional alcoholic". I feel like a functional fucked-uppy most days, endlessly processing in my head, amidst dealing with "real life".
As always, I appreciate your candidness, and respect and admire your perseverance.
You are welcome. Functional fucked-uppy is a good term!
"What I am working on with my other therapist is deeper than that. The two things actually complement each other. I decided that after having waited so long for the NHS therapy I would continue with it, and continue with my paid sessions, because six weeks in therapy is not very long" My initial thoughts on reading this was with my former counsellor hat on - therapy with two different therapists at same time not a good idea...however, given what you also said about the scarcity and duration of nhs therapy (woefully pathetic) I think your reasoning makes sense. Just take real good care of yourself, cos it can be a lot to process, as you are aware of already.
Hope you can take this in the genuine spirit it is given and have peaceful Christmas.
Thank you. I appreciate your wisdom xx
You’re doing very well with your therapy. It took me 4 years to accept I was feeling angry about ‘stuff’. And I still struggle. It’s so easy to fall into my default of ‘you’ve hurt my feelings and I can’t tell you so instead I’ll bottle it all up inside’. And I see my therapist twice a week. And 2 sessions a week has really helped me. Sounds like it’s helping you too.
Thanks my love. Glad it’s helping you too xx
You're doing it and that's huge Katy. I want to say I'm very proud of you, which sounds immensely patronising. Like you've just been a tree in the nativity play. I know it's a whole lot more than that. I'm not huggy, but I'm sending you a big wodge of encouragement. x
Ha! Thank you! A big wodge of encouragement is perfect x
Love your writing, love you. Sending virtual hugs and cakes.... until I can give you the real ones. What you are doing is brave and wonderful. 😘
Love you too xx
The work *is* so very hard and so frightening. I’m glad your therapists’ work is complementary.
Thank you for your insight; you have said some things that resonate with me.
May this second Christmas celebration also be a good one.
Thank you. Xx
Oh Katy..."all (you) can do"??? As if you're not doing everything possible to heal/move forward/(insert term here). You're so brave, and so willing. Two therapists??? Holy shit, girl. I relate to so much of what you're saying, I started crying when I got to the part about anger masking fear. Hang in there. Never met you, love you just the same.
Unqualified other than by a little experience of chronic anxiety and depression, it seems that you are handling your therapy in a good way. I don't mean to patronise. This stuff is always hard, over and over again, but sometimes there is progress. I wish you all the best, and I'm glad your NHS therapist is a good one.
I honestly didn’t feel patronised. You are so right about the over and over bit. Fingers are crossed that I can make some positive progress xx