Previous experience with the writings of Alain de Botton had already inclined me towards believing he was...shall we say...overly entitled and detached from reality? (Just to avoid saying he has his head stuck somewhere that gets little sunlight?)
YES!!!! This is utterly brilliant and has almost made me put my phone down and shriek ‘YES’ loud enough to rouse my teenager from her endless reverie. From pressure on pistachios to whether he has ever put his own kids to bed - just brilliant. Anyone with poor mental health knows you do what you have to do to get through those days, we all also know that we should be doing gentle yoga and making juice before meditating and engaging with nature, but sometimes it’s all we can do to breathe.
Katy, I am actually crying with laughter, hang on let me go and find a pillow! I'm just checking that Alain is not recalling how the Victorians dealt with advanced madness of the head. Anytime I hear the word should, I immediately run in the other direction or want to poke said person in the eye or do the complete opposite. At least it helped Alain, she says trying to be nice, because I believe in karma and all that.
Recently, I wrote to a 'guru' saying "I don’t recall ever seeing any mention or recognition of the people in your life whose work allows you to live your best life. Who does the childcare, shopping, cooking, cleaning, gardening, and all the other tasks that run continuously in the background. Or do you do these too? If so, I’d love to know your secret." I have yet to see a response!
Thank you for sharing. Someone else said it perfectly: thank you for sharing so I can skip the read, and instead soak in more of your beautiful words!
As a mental health therapist, I'm working with clients on a daily to DITCH THE SHOULDS. Pains me to know these messages are so widely a part of wellness culture. You're absolutely right, these messages cause harm. What a lovely world of privilege to believe that healing your mental health is so black and white?!? If only those of us with personal MH journeys would eat more figs ;) Thank you again your writing, so glad you decided to share these thoughts.
Thanks for this fabulous review. I would have been tempted to buy the book, you have saved me the money, and also the anger I would have felt at reading such a pile of self-satisfied entitled ‘advice’. I have enjoyed some of his books, but it sounds like his privilege shines through this book in such a condescending way and shows a total lack of awareness for the experience of the lives of most people. Perhaps the manuscript for this book ‘should’ have stayed locked up in his ivory tower with him?
I'm a former MH professional and cloth-eared 'advice' like this really irks me. it is so divorced from the reailty of people's lives. Thank you for writing this.
Shall keep right away from this book! Soul destroying by the sound of it, but not your lovely honest soul. Love your writing style and your freedom with language
FUCK OFF!!!!! for instance. All.the best, always, to you.
after reading this clear-eyed assessment, i hope the only folks who for some reason buy Alain's book, decide to use it for a doorstop and nothing else. ugh. my friends who journey with challenges of mental health deserve an expansion of affordable care, compassion, people who listen not to fix but understand, and more. not being immersed in a pile of "shoulds." thank you.
I thank you for this from the bottom of my heart because if you hadn’t written this witty, insightful and relatable review I might have blithely gone ahead and wasted an audible credit on the book. Which would have done nothing but raise my blood pressure and make me swear too!
Katy, you are brilliant. That is all 🤍
Thank you! xx
I might be mental but I’m not fucking stupid..... 👏👏👏💪💪
x
Previous experience with the writings of Alain de Botton had already inclined me towards believing he was...shall we say...overly entitled and detached from reality? (Just to avoid saying he has his head stuck somewhere that gets little sunlight?)
Peering around in the darkness like Gollum!
🤣
YES!!!! This is utterly brilliant and has almost made me put my phone down and shriek ‘YES’ loud enough to rouse my teenager from her endless reverie. From pressure on pistachios to whether he has ever put his own kids to bed - just brilliant. Anyone with poor mental health knows you do what you have to do to get through those days, we all also know that we should be doing gentle yoga and making juice before meditating and engaging with nature, but sometimes it’s all we can do to breathe.
Priceless. Thank you 🙏
you are absolutely welcome. x
Brilliant piece! Thank you for writing this so I don’t have to read that book. Instead I will find more of your writing 😊
Thank you. x
Katy, I am actually crying with laughter, hang on let me go and find a pillow! I'm just checking that Alain is not recalling how the Victorians dealt with advanced madness of the head. Anytime I hear the word should, I immediately run in the other direction or want to poke said person in the eye or do the complete opposite. At least it helped Alain, she says trying to be nice, because I believe in karma and all that.
Me too. I don't wish him ill. Well, I'm trying not to wish him ill.
🤣💕
Exactly!!! 🤣💕
Recently, I wrote to a 'guru' saying "I don’t recall ever seeing any mention or recognition of the people in your life whose work allows you to live your best life. Who does the childcare, shopping, cooking, cleaning, gardening, and all the other tasks that run continuously in the background. Or do you do these too? If so, I’d love to know your secret." I have yet to see a response!
I was married to a 'guru' once. It was as thankless as you might expect.
Oh no! Very sorry to hear that. Gurus take note!
Now that’s a book to be written...
Many people would have to die first I think!
Roman a clef? (Fictionalise it and add that note ‘this is a work of fiction, any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely councidental).
I like your thinking. x
I love this. So good. So true.
Thank you for sharing. Someone else said it perfectly: thank you for sharing so I can skip the read, and instead soak in more of your beautiful words!
As a mental health therapist, I'm working with clients on a daily to DITCH THE SHOULDS. Pains me to know these messages are so widely a part of wellness culture. You're absolutely right, these messages cause harm. What a lovely world of privilege to believe that healing your mental health is so black and white?!? If only those of us with personal MH journeys would eat more figs ;) Thank you again your writing, so glad you decided to share these thoughts.
Who knew figs were the answer?!
Thanks for this fabulous review. I would have been tempted to buy the book, you have saved me the money, and also the anger I would have felt at reading such a pile of self-satisfied entitled ‘advice’. I have enjoyed some of his books, but it sounds like his privilege shines through this book in such a condescending way and shows a total lack of awareness for the experience of the lives of most people. Perhaps the manuscript for this book ‘should’ have stayed locked up in his ivory tower with him?
I have also read him before and quite enjoyed his work, but this just hit a nerve. My last nerve! x
Katy this is so very brilliant. 🙏 Thank you.
Thank you. x
Perfection
Thank you. x
I'm a former MH professional and cloth-eared 'advice' like this really irks me. it is so divorced from the reailty of people's lives. Thank you for writing this.
Thank you. I love ‘cloth eared’
My grandfather's saying.
Shall keep right away from this book! Soul destroying by the sound of it, but not your lovely honest soul. Love your writing style and your freedom with language
FUCK OFF!!!!! for instance. All.the best, always, to you.
Thank you. x
Legendary! Epic! I’m gagging for Alain to write a book on Sexuality just so you can review it Katy.
If I’m lucky my email telling him he ‘should’ write this sex version will catch in the back of his throat. Pesky nuts.
Bravo you.
ha ha ha! It would be a compelling read for sure!
after reading this clear-eyed assessment, i hope the only folks who for some reason buy Alain's book, decide to use it for a doorstop and nothing else. ugh. my friends who journey with challenges of mental health deserve an expansion of affordable care, compassion, people who listen not to fix but understand, and more. not being immersed in a pile of "shoulds." thank you.
Welcome x
Thank you for writing this! I’m sharing it with my daughters immediate.
Welcome x
I thank you for this from the bottom of my heart because if you hadn’t written this witty, insightful and relatable review I might have blithely gone ahead and wasted an audible credit on the book. Which would have done nothing but raise my blood pressure and make me swear too!
Ha ha! I'm glad I could help save the credit. x