Katy I'm replying to 2 of your posts, as I'm new to substack . I was nudged this way by my very wise daughter. I wanted to say one I have never read such an accurate description of both , what it is like to be a parent of a teenagers. But also how it feels being there through traumatic and tough times. I am just coming out of a long period of those times. Like you put so beautifully. I am trying to find the path to myself. I to have always been praised for being thin and so that was my thing . I to have only recently just changed my approah to exercise from crazy Davina style on speed, to slow and steady and tea biscuits. Go for that swim honey and float in the sunshine. Writing was something I liked many many years ago and you have got me doing it again. By making me want to write a comment. Thank you.xxx
Hi Lorraine, thank you so much for your comment(s). I am sorry to hear that you have been going through the mill. It's a tough one. Hang in there and keep putting one foot in front of the other. Thank you for sharing your words and thoughts. It means a lot. x
Thank you. Swimwear is super hard. I think there is a lot of money to be made by people designing swimming costumes that are nice to wear instead of some kind of torture. xx
"I am attempting to find ways to do what I like and what feels good without turning those things into sticks to beat myself with."
This is incredible! Thank you! Why do we feel like doing what is good for us should be miserable? Why can't we enjoy the things that are good for us, or recognize that the joy is what matters not the thing, and therefore we should be focusing on our joy and the 'good for us' will follow!
Hey Katy. Was it intentional for these two sentences to sort of bounce off and along with each other? Because they do, and make for quite a reading experience.
"I had a massage a few days ago, and it was the most painful thing I have experienced for fun in my life. I felt like I was being played like a xylophone."
"I am attempting to find ways to do what I like and what feels good without turning those things into sticks to beat myself with."
So relatable to so many of us. Oh man, swimwear. Underwear. Bras. Thank you for writing about this. Our ideas about exercise have gotten messed up. Near as I can tell, all we actually have to do is walk. Maybe some sit ups to deal with lower back pain. But basically spend time not-sitting. You don’t need memberships… special clothes… special equipment… hmmm… it’s almost like you don’t need to spend money on it. Enjoy your floating- even imagining it feels good 😊
Fortunately, I’ve found my therapist very sensible and understandingi about exercise. My issue is that I’m a nearly-65 year old recovering from cancer, he’s a 70 year old born again marathon runner, and if I had a pound for every time I’ve told him no, Parkrun is lovely but not the answer to my particular problems as the thought of interacting with hundreds of smiley happy people first thing on a Saturday morning is my idea of a bad time. I’m here via Katherine May and I don’t. know your backstory but it sounds like you just need a bit of time to figure out who you really are after a difficult time. I wish you well. Find one thing, physically, that makes you happy, and do that. Not too much. And avoid Instagram - the constant stream of Exercise for Seniors apps is very unhelpful.
I absolutely agree that swimwear is a nightmare. I always just want something that actually covers and doesn't start shifting into uncomfortable places when I move. I may have to face it again soon and I am encouraged by your get it and go approach. Thank you!
The swimsuit thing. Totally. Good swimwear that isn't high this, low that, no support and exposed bum cheeks, is hard to find. Very good swimwear is expensive. I finally found a swimming costume that I could bear to wear last year from Deakin and Blue - I had to actually save up for it, but I do look ok in it, and it fits and it's flattering! Plus I got it online so no struggling in shops. You may faint at the prices, but blimey are they a good fit for a lumpy, bumpy bod. https://www.deakinandblue.com/collections/swimsuits
I did look at them, but as you say, the price is a bit fierce and I wasn't sure at this point whether it was quite worth the investment yet. I think it will be going forward and it is brilliant to hear someone who confirmed my feelings about them. When things cost that much it's always best when someone champions them. xx
i hope you have a lovely holiday and find water to hold you.
and i get the swimsuit thing. loath trying on swim wear. i finally found a style i can order online that works and god help me (or the manufacturer) if it every goes away!
I did think about ordering a bunch online, but the thought of all the returns stressed me out more than the thought of rushing to a shop and just buying something!
I relate to so much of what you’ve shared here. I loath exercise, I hate buying swimwear and underwear, and I’m the size of two people. I can’t bear mirrors so I don’t have any at home, only the one in the bathroom for my face. Oh the shame, the shame. I dread to think how much money I’ve spent on weight loss over the years. Tomorrow I’m off on another venture to curb my eating. Fingers crossed.
Love this post. I am 50 in a few weeks, and my mental health and physical health have been way down the list of priorities in recent years, as a single mum who works full-time. I'm re-evaluating everything at the moment. I feel like you; a huge tangle of feelings. When I was in my teens and 20's I was one of those annoying people who could eat whatever I liked and put on no weight, I was tall with long legs. Well, that soon caught up with me! I love walking, and in the summer swimming, but last year I joined a fitness class called Clubbercise, which is absolutely cheesy but I completely love it. The instructor is an absolute gem. She makes the focus on having fun and women connecting, rather than 'fitness' and losing weight. She's 51 and makes us all laugh when halfway through a routine she shouts 'Girls, my menopausal brain made me forget the next move... what is it!!??' and 'Hope you don't pee your pants like I do!'. It's so much fun and completely life-affirming.
I have to say I have given up on swimsuits entirely and if swim attire is required, wear board shorts and a tankini top/rash vest and am far more comfortable than I ever was in a Cossie. 😊❤️
10 out of 10 would heartily recommend. I feel far more confident, and much less self conscious in a top and shorts. Much better than those weird "skirted" swimsuits that seem to be the only other alternative if you want to have something less figure hugging. They also come in much nicer colours rather than the bizarre floral monstrosities that seem to abound in cossies in my size! 🤣
Katy I'm replying to 2 of your posts, as I'm new to substack . I was nudged this way by my very wise daughter. I wanted to say one I have never read such an accurate description of both , what it is like to be a parent of a teenagers. But also how it feels being there through traumatic and tough times. I am just coming out of a long period of those times. Like you put so beautifully. I am trying to find the path to myself. I to have always been praised for being thin and so that was my thing . I to have only recently just changed my approah to exercise from crazy Davina style on speed, to slow and steady and tea biscuits. Go for that swim honey and float in the sunshine. Writing was something I liked many many years ago and you have got me doing it again. By making me want to write a comment. Thank you.xxx
Hi Lorraine, thank you so much for your comment(s). I am sorry to hear that you have been going through the mill. It's a tough one. Hang in there and keep putting one foot in front of the other. Thank you for sharing your words and thoughts. It means a lot. x
Just want to send you a big hug (from my new body to your new body). Swimwear is SO hard right now. Have a wonderful holiday!
Thank you. Swimwear is super hard. I think there is a lot of money to be made by people designing swimming costumes that are nice to wear instead of some kind of torture. xx
"I am attempting to find ways to do what I like and what feels good without turning those things into sticks to beat myself with."
This is incredible! Thank you! Why do we feel like doing what is good for us should be miserable? Why can't we enjoy the things that are good for us, or recognize that the joy is what matters not the thing, and therefore we should be focusing on our joy and the 'good for us' will follow!
Yes! Joy is what matters. xx
Hey Katy. Was it intentional for these two sentences to sort of bounce off and along with each other? Because they do, and make for quite a reading experience.
"I had a massage a few days ago, and it was the most painful thing I have experienced for fun in my life. I felt like I was being played like a xylophone."
"I am attempting to find ways to do what I like and what feels good without turning those things into sticks to beat myself with."
I'd like to say it was on purpose, because that would make me seem far cleverer than I am! But it was entirely accidental. x
Wonderful the things that happen when the writing magic flows
So relatable to so many of us. Oh man, swimwear. Underwear. Bras. Thank you for writing about this. Our ideas about exercise have gotten messed up. Near as I can tell, all we actually have to do is walk. Maybe some sit ups to deal with lower back pain. But basically spend time not-sitting. You don’t need memberships… special clothes… special equipment… hmmm… it’s almost like you don’t need to spend money on it. Enjoy your floating- even imagining it feels good 😊
Thank you. xx
Fortunately, I’ve found my therapist very sensible and understandingi about exercise. My issue is that I’m a nearly-65 year old recovering from cancer, he’s a 70 year old born again marathon runner, and if I had a pound for every time I’ve told him no, Parkrun is lovely but not the answer to my particular problems as the thought of interacting with hundreds of smiley happy people first thing on a Saturday morning is my idea of a bad time. I’m here via Katherine May and I don’t. know your backstory but it sounds like you just need a bit of time to figure out who you really are after a difficult time. I wish you well. Find one thing, physically, that makes you happy, and do that. Not too much. And avoid Instagram - the constant stream of Exercise for Seniors apps is very unhelpful.
It's amazing how often people think of us as extensions of themselves, so what's good for them will be good for us. xx
Hope you have a WONDERFUL holiday 🌊
Oh lord. Me too! It feels so near and so far away all at the same time. x
I absolutely agree that swimwear is a nightmare. I always just want something that actually covers and doesn't start shifting into uncomfortable places when I move. I may have to face it again soon and I am encouraged by your get it and go approach. Thank you!
Go for it. I feel like there are some decent pieces out there but I didn't feel I had the energy to spend time investigating it. xx
Absolutely with you on depression and exercise. ❤️
It's so annoying, isn't it? x
The swimsuit thing. Totally. Good swimwear that isn't high this, low that, no support and exposed bum cheeks, is hard to find. Very good swimwear is expensive. I finally found a swimming costume that I could bear to wear last year from Deakin and Blue - I had to actually save up for it, but I do look ok in it, and it fits and it's flattering! Plus I got it online so no struggling in shops. You may faint at the prices, but blimey are they a good fit for a lumpy, bumpy bod. https://www.deakinandblue.com/collections/swimsuits
I did look at them, but as you say, the price is a bit fierce and I wasn't sure at this point whether it was quite worth the investment yet. I think it will be going forward and it is brilliant to hear someone who confirmed my feelings about them. When things cost that much it's always best when someone champions them. xx
i hope you have a lovely holiday and find water to hold you.
and i get the swimsuit thing. loath trying on swim wear. i finally found a style i can order online that works and god help me (or the manufacturer) if it every goes away!
I did think about ordering a bunch online, but the thought of all the returns stressed me out more than the thought of rushing to a shop and just buying something!
In the same "my body has changed so I need a new swimsuit but..." boat. In my case, it's "but the bills come first."
And I will say, all mermaids are happiest when they are in the water. Perhaps you've been landlocked for too long, dear mermaid. ❤
Bills must always come first, sadly. I hope you manage to find what you need soon. xx
I relate to so much of what you’ve shared here. I loath exercise, I hate buying swimwear and underwear, and I’m the size of two people. I can’t bear mirrors so I don’t have any at home, only the one in the bathroom for my face. Oh the shame, the shame. I dread to think how much money I’ve spent on weight loss over the years. Tomorrow I’m off on another venture to curb my eating. Fingers crossed.
I hope it goes well for you. Sending you love. xx
Love this post. I am 50 in a few weeks, and my mental health and physical health have been way down the list of priorities in recent years, as a single mum who works full-time. I'm re-evaluating everything at the moment. I feel like you; a huge tangle of feelings. When I was in my teens and 20's I was one of those annoying people who could eat whatever I liked and put on no weight, I was tall with long legs. Well, that soon caught up with me! I love walking, and in the summer swimming, but last year I joined a fitness class called Clubbercise, which is absolutely cheesy but I completely love it. The instructor is an absolute gem. She makes the focus on having fun and women connecting, rather than 'fitness' and losing weight. She's 51 and makes us all laugh when halfway through a routine she shouts 'Girls, my menopausal brain made me forget the next move... what is it!!??' and 'Hope you don't pee your pants like I do!'. It's so much fun and completely life-affirming.
I have to say I have given up on swimsuits entirely and if swim attire is required, wear board shorts and a tankini top/rash vest and am far more comfortable than I ever was in a Cossie. 😊❤️
I thought about that. If the swimming goes well I might branch into the tankini/shorts thing next. x
10 out of 10 would heartily recommend. I feel far more confident, and much less self conscious in a top and shorts. Much better than those weird "skirted" swimsuits that seem to be the only other alternative if you want to have something less figure hugging. They also come in much nicer colours rather than the bizarre floral monstrosities that seem to abound in cossies in my size! 🤣