Girl Scouts, oh yes! There was a lot of subtle teaching of home making skills, but there was also time out in Nature: camping in the desert, or the mountains. And the all-important selling of the cookies in the Spring! My scouting career ended when a small difference of opinion suddenly blew up into a huge drama, so I was all, "kay-thanks-bye!" Not a huge loss.
In my teenage years, I cultivated a lot of masculine traits to "offset" my obvious femininity, because life under patriarchy was not to my liking. In the darkest days, my desire was not to be male, but to be invisible.
Fortunately, I've survived the worst of it and am quite comfy as I am now: mature and arriving in my Full Power.
Setting aside the whole binary nonsense for a moment: none of us are being encouraged to live as fully realized, multi-dimensional beings. We are all being pressured into existing as flat caricatures and stereotypes. This helps no one.
I was really lucky that our guider loved camping and pissing about in woods but still by the age of 11 I could see that my brother’s had a much easier life than me-I wasn’t allowed to join the cricket team and only the fishing team as a reserve (I always caught twice as much as the rest) and I always helped mum at home. And they didn’t have periods ffs. By 11 I decided that gender was ridiculous and spent many yrs spouting to anyone that would listen that we’d all be better off if it didn’t exist. I find the current situation mind blowing 😳
I'm hoping that the pendulum will swing to a middle ground where we can all be whatever we want and nobody will shriek in outrage. Fingers very much crossed.
Your Brownie experience sounds a lot like my Girl Scout experience. We had a troop leader who spent most of her time teaching us how to take care of babies. Other troops were going primitive camping and we learned how to wash babies. 🙄
The gender roles that are imposed on us are hurtful. Thank you for sharing your insights.
So frustrating isn't it? Who wants to wash babies? I had three and wasn't even very keen on it when. I had to do it. So much more fun to be out there, doing adventurous deeds. x
Oh this speaks to me. Expectations from the outside affect us in such very subtle, always present, dramatic ways, which we accept without even really recognizing - until, like you have done, we look back and see their trail and the mountain of importance they have created in our lives. Even if we can’t be rid of it all, at least we can look at it for what it is. And perhaps be free to just be.
Love this post, thank you for sharing. I only lasted a month in Brownies, much to my mam's annoyance as she had forked out for the uniform. The first badge they made us do was the Hostess badge where I had to make someone a cup of tea! What a load of rubbish. Thankfully now my daughter has the choice to go to Beavers and is soon moving up to Cubs. They build dens, go rafting and climb fells every week; she absolutely loves it.
Oh God! The Hostess badge. My daughter went to Brownies and did the Hostess badge first. They sent her home with a great list of things she had to do and we did them all. Then Brown Owl said she couldn’t have the badge because she hadn’t supervised all the activities. Our daughter was so upset. My husband went the following week and tore Brown Owl a new one for being so mean and she meekly handed over the badge. It was pretty disheartening to feel like not much had changed although I believe it is different now
I remember talking to friend about how astonishing it was that everyone these days had to be "gendered" when I had spent my entire life fighting for a world where you didn't have to be defined. As a single female in a male dominated industry I spent my life fighting against being a "Miss", and fighting to be gender neutral.
Girl Scouts, oh yes! There was a lot of subtle teaching of home making skills, but there was also time out in Nature: camping in the desert, or the mountains. And the all-important selling of the cookies in the Spring! My scouting career ended when a small difference of opinion suddenly blew up into a huge drama, so I was all, "kay-thanks-bye!" Not a huge loss.
In my teenage years, I cultivated a lot of masculine traits to "offset" my obvious femininity, because life under patriarchy was not to my liking. In the darkest days, my desire was not to be male, but to be invisible.
Fortunately, I've survived the worst of it and am quite comfy as I am now: mature and arriving in my Full Power.
Setting aside the whole binary nonsense for a moment: none of us are being encouraged to live as fully realized, multi-dimensional beings. We are all being pressured into existing as flat caricatures and stereotypes. This helps no one.
PS - big props for your past, present, and future bravery!
Thank you. Yes, I agree that nobody is being encouraged to live wholly. The fragmentation of our selves is a full on mania in current society. xx
I was really lucky that our guider loved camping and pissing about in woods but still by the age of 11 I could see that my brother’s had a much easier life than me-I wasn’t allowed to join the cricket team and only the fishing team as a reserve (I always caught twice as much as the rest) and I always helped mum at home. And they didn’t have periods ffs. By 11 I decided that gender was ridiculous and spent many yrs spouting to anyone that would listen that we’d all be better off if it didn’t exist. I find the current situation mind blowing 😳
I'm hoping that the pendulum will swing to a middle ground where we can all be whatever we want and nobody will shriek in outrage. Fingers very much crossed.
Amen to that
Your Brownie experience sounds a lot like my Girl Scout experience. We had a troop leader who spent most of her time teaching us how to take care of babies. Other troops were going primitive camping and we learned how to wash babies. 🙄
The gender roles that are imposed on us are hurtful. Thank you for sharing your insights.
So frustrating isn't it? Who wants to wash babies? I had three and wasn't even very keen on it when. I had to do it. So much more fun to be out there, doing adventurous deeds. x
Oh this speaks to me. Expectations from the outside affect us in such very subtle, always present, dramatic ways, which we accept without even really recognizing - until, like you have done, we look back and see their trail and the mountain of importance they have created in our lives. Even if we can’t be rid of it all, at least we can look at it for what it is. And perhaps be free to just be.
Yes. It's amazing how much of other people's stuff we just cart around without even really thinking about it. x
Love this post, thank you for sharing. I only lasted a month in Brownies, much to my mam's annoyance as she had forked out for the uniform. The first badge they made us do was the Hostess badge where I had to make someone a cup of tea! What a load of rubbish. Thankfully now my daughter has the choice to go to Beavers and is soon moving up to Cubs. They build dens, go rafting and climb fells every week; she absolutely loves it.
Oh God! The Hostess badge. My daughter went to Brownies and did the Hostess badge first. They sent her home with a great list of things she had to do and we did them all. Then Brown Owl said she couldn’t have the badge because she hadn’t supervised all the activities. Our daughter was so upset. My husband went the following week and tore Brown Owl a new one for being so mean and she meekly handed over the badge. It was pretty disheartening to feel like not much had changed although I believe it is different now
thank you for another tender and deep share. and yes, when are we going to stop defining other people! away with the binaries already.
Wouldn't that be so lovely? x
I remember talking to friend about how astonishing it was that everyone these days had to be "gendered" when I had spent my entire life fighting for a world where you didn't have to be defined. As a single female in a male dominated industry I spent my life fighting against being a "Miss", and fighting to be gender neutral.
it's so disheartening. More power to your elbow. xx