I’m not often on here anymore but I’m so glad - in a bedbound fortnight - I opened this and your piece came first to my eyes. Such a fierce full funny sad wise blast of life experience come into my day - just as I need it, suddenly/at last with a 16 and 18 year old: looking back at how on earth did I manage with similar pain that you describe here but also not knowing what they need from me now, given I’d already left home around now. There were no boundaries to test. Thank you for writing this.
What an extraordinary piece. It captures so beautifully the ravages and raptures of parenting and the relentlessness of it. It just. Never. Stops. I love that you share all the worst of times and when you've struggled and that your adult children are thriving. It's so rare to see that longitudinal perspective and I wish I saw it more as I stumble through the early years and hope I'm doing it well enough to create happy adults. Thank you so much for sharing.
You are a warrior full of fight, honor and humility. Your words landed with such ferocity and tenderness -- an emotional workout that left me wrung out and validated at the same time. Thank you for giving us this raw, honest reflection of your life as a mother who never gave up on her children.
That's how I felt raising my own kids, but you are much more eloquent and my family was far more messed up. Disabled daughter, drug dealing son and another daughter caught in the middle of all of it. Now I'm doing it all over again at 62 because my son cannot raise his own son, nor can the woman he impregnated. I'm raising a five year old and one is much easier than my original three, plus, experience and a little wisdom.
It’s just the sort of thing me and my sis would have done with our little brother. When he was a toddler we would dress him in girls clothes and wheel him about in the pram. We especially liked him in a silk blue bridesmaid’s dress of my sisters with a blue poke bonnet…
Thank you, Katy. Three boys, one divorce and several houses later, I understand everything you’ve written about. Over the years, I’ve been known to shout ‘Lucky I love you!’. Tbh, I feel even luckier that they love me as your children obviously do you, too xx
Huge sigh! Wow this is brilliant and resonates so deeply. I identify my own parental burnout and know there is no end to parenting. My babies are 23 and 21… thanks Katy
Thank you for sharing this astonishingly accurate and heartbreakingly honest account of motherhood. I felt every word and could see every image as if from my own life. Beautiful and hilarious in equal measure.
I’m not often on here anymore but I’m so glad - in a bedbound fortnight - I opened this and your piece came first to my eyes. Such a fierce full funny sad wise blast of life experience come into my day - just as I need it, suddenly/at last with a 16 and 18 year old: looking back at how on earth did I manage with similar pain that you describe here but also not knowing what they need from me now, given I’d already left home around now. There were no boundaries to test. Thank you for writing this.
Thank you. Your writing has held me over the years. I'm glad I could be there for you. x
A 'like' doesn't really seem adequate for this. Although I am wondering how you got out of building the solar system ...
time table clash! x
What an extraordinary piece. It captures so beautifully the ravages and raptures of parenting and the relentlessness of it. It just. Never. Stops. I love that you share all the worst of times and when you've struggled and that your adult children are thriving. It's so rare to see that longitudinal perspective and I wish I saw it more as I stumble through the early years and hope I'm doing it well enough to create happy adults. Thank you so much for sharing.
Love them and tell them that. It's what gets us through most things. xx
Also absolutely howling at the 'soft play near the abbatoir at the ringroad' line 🤣
Ha ha! Thank you. x
You are a warrior full of fight, honor and humility. Your words landed with such ferocity and tenderness -- an emotional workout that left me wrung out and validated at the same time. Thank you for giving us this raw, honest reflection of your life as a mother who never gave up on her children.
Thank you. x
Brillant. Mic drop. This is everything.
xx
Oh Katy. This post. So devastatingly, unflinchingly, luminously true. Thank you for sharing this xxx
xx
Thanks for putting the dichotomy of feelings into words 🙌
Thank you. Nice to see you back on Substack x
Such a fabulous piece of writing. Thank you 🙏
Thank you for reading. x
That's how I felt raising my own kids, but you are much more eloquent and my family was far more messed up. Disabled daughter, drug dealing son and another daughter caught in the middle of all of it. Now I'm doing it all over again at 62 because my son cannot raise his own son, nor can the woman he impregnated. I'm raising a five year old and one is much easier than my original three, plus, experience and a little wisdom.
Thank you for writing your story.
Thank you for sharing yours. Much love. x
..'they trapped their sister in a suitcase and couldn't unzip it'...that made me laugh so much..!!
It made me laugh at the time, and still does!
It’s just the sort of thing me and my sis would have done with our little brother. When he was a toddler we would dress him in girls clothes and wheel him about in the pram. We especially liked him in a silk blue bridesmaid’s dress of my sisters with a blue poke bonnet…
Thank you. I don't have time to say anything more eloquent as I'm *in it up to here* but yes, thank you for sharing. Xxx
Hang in there.x
Awesome
Thank you. x
Thank you, Katy. Three boys, one divorce and several houses later, I understand everything you’ve written about. Over the years, I’ve been known to shout ‘Lucky I love you!’. Tbh, I feel even luckier that they love me as your children obviously do you, too xx
We are all lucky aren't we? Even though sometimes it can be hard to see that. xx
Huge sigh! Wow this is brilliant and resonates so deeply. I identify my own parental burnout and know there is no end to parenting. My babies are 23 and 21… thanks Katy
Thank you. xx
turned on my eye faucets. beautifully honest. thank you as always.
Thank you. xx
Thank you for sharing this astonishingly accurate and heartbreakingly honest account of motherhood. I felt every word and could see every image as if from my own life. Beautiful and hilarious in equal measure.
Thank you. xx