Thanks, as always for your insights. I find I tend to do the same thing, stepping up to relieve my brother and sister-in-law from taking care of my mother. It entails a 4-hour drive to her house and a week-long stay. Two other brothers live near her and can also help, but they don’t ask. And it feels like a struggle to ask them to help. As a result, I build up a huge helping of resentment and stress.
I’m working with my therapist to set better boundaries.
Yay for you! The tradition of worshiping martyrs is unhealthy (feast days for crying out loud!) and in our culture it seems to somehow have transitioned over to women (mainly) in the overextension of caring for others and setting aside our own needs (an over simplification, but hope you get my drift). Hmmm, perhaps I projecting from my past 😛!
Anyway, glad you had a fun time with Oscar and his sweetheart. I love Cabaret! Hope Derek receives the best care and you, dear Kate, have someone doting on you before you head off to be with your folks again. Please take tender care. Your humor always lifts my day. 💫
Thank you! I had a lovely few days at home, noodling about with Jason and Derek. Am back in Leicester for a few days again, but off tomorrow for a bit. Shift work is the way forward.
I always hated the oxygen mask analogy, but then my mom got really old, and later, very battered from both old age and a few choice accidents. I realized that I had to breathe -- literally, metaphorically, and using a damn tube if necessary.
Ya gotta do it. If you're not breathing, then they won't either.
Ps I heard Judy Dench interviewed yesterday. She was the first person to play Sally Bowles on the boards. So right! I am a Cabaret affectionado so I am down with this celebration and commitment to hands only really having been designed for Jazz.
Thanks Katy, learning to not accept all “invitations”, both real and imagined continues to simmer in my life personally and professionally. The being me is much more comfortable hiding behind and within the doing me. Huge breaths in and out as I type this.
Matt took one, but it was while we were being biblically rained on. We had a pot of ewe's milk soft cheese that tasted something like a ricotta. We had a slab of Baron Bigod, which I had never tried before and was really, pleasantly surprised by and we had a soft cheese from the Daylesford Dairy called Castillon Frais, which was mildly fruity and had the consistency of a goat's cheese. So good.
The tea-and-sandwich person is just as important in family situations as those keeping hospital vigil. Good on you to reset your boundaries.
We also need to insist Jazz Hands be part of every vet student's curriculum going forward!
We do. Jazz hands for all medical professions tbh.
Thanks, as always for your insights. I find I tend to do the same thing, stepping up to relieve my brother and sister-in-law from taking care of my mother. It entails a 4-hour drive to her house and a week-long stay. Two other brothers live near her and can also help, but they don’t ask. And it feels like a struggle to ask them to help. As a result, I build up a huge helping of resentment and stress.
I’m working with my therapist to set better boundaries.
That ongoing tension between resentment and guilt, always the growth edge for me
Yes. x
Good luck. It's so hard. I find it difficult to resist the lure of being the rescuer.
Yay for you! The tradition of worshiping martyrs is unhealthy (feast days for crying out loud!) and in our culture it seems to somehow have transitioned over to women (mainly) in the overextension of caring for others and setting aside our own needs (an over simplification, but hope you get my drift). Hmmm, perhaps I projecting from my past 😛!
Anyway, glad you had a fun time with Oscar and his sweetheart. I love Cabaret! Hope Derek receives the best care and you, dear Kate, have someone doting on you before you head off to be with your folks again. Please take tender care. Your humor always lifts my day. 💫
It is so unhealthy, but I find it so alluring. x
Thank you! I had a lovely few days at home, noodling about with Jason and Derek. Am back in Leicester for a few days again, but off tomorrow for a bit. Shift work is the way forward.
I always hated the oxygen mask analogy, but then my mom got really old, and later, very battered from both old age and a few choice accidents. I realized that I had to breathe -- literally, metaphorically, and using a damn tube if necessary.
Ya gotta do it. If you're not breathing, then they won't either.
PS love your writing. xoxo
You do have to breathe. It's annoying when a cheesy analogy is just the perfect description though. You're right. x
Well done Katy . It’s hard to walk away and let others help. X
Yes!
Ps I heard Judy Dench interviewed yesterday. She was the first person to play Sally Bowles on the boards. So right! I am a Cabaret affectionado so I am down with this celebration and commitment to hands only really having been designed for Jazz.
I will listen to it. x
Ooh you write well. You just do write well. Fact. Thank you! 🙏🏽
Thank you. x
Thanks Katy, learning to not accept all “invitations”, both real and imagined continues to simmer in my life personally and professionally. The being me is much more comfortable hiding behind and within the doing me. Huge breaths in and out as I type this.
I like the word simmer. I'm wrestling with one of these at the moment and that's exactly what it feels like. xx
PS, any photos of the cheese feast? I mean the cheese itself !
Matt took one, but it was while we were being biblically rained on. We had a pot of ewe's milk soft cheese that tasted something like a ricotta. We had a slab of Baron Bigod, which I had never tried before and was really, pleasantly surprised by and we had a soft cheese from the Daylesford Dairy called Castillon Frais, which was mildly fruity and had the consistency of a goat's cheese. So good.